Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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