TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
