'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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