he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
