did you get engaged???
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
