no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
