Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
