And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
so that wasnt chicken after all
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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