So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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