just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
