so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The beers last night were like the tears from god
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
