I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
