But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
