Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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