So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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