my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
