My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
