I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
