We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
