I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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