dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
