I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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