You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
