and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
