i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
