I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
