I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
