apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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