Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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