I'm laying in your front yard are you home
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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