Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
