my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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