oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I forget how to act sober
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