I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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