well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
