If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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