Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
