I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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