i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Randomize
