Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
