I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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