I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
