Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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