So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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