my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
