This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
