In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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