he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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