If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
