I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
