is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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