fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
